Starbucks is Evil

I am a morning person, 3 am seems to be the magical number for me lately. I even tried going to bed after 12 the other night, and by 3:30 I was up and fixing my coffee. I love making my coffee in the mornings now. One of my Christmas presents was a Bunn coffee maker. The best coffee maker in the world, if you have never tried one, you don't know what you are missing. The reserve in the coffee maker stays about 200 degrees and once it's locked and loaded, it takes about 3 minutes to brew a fresh pot of coffee, and stays hot. A wonderful invention. Now on to more rantings. I have a 16 year old daughter, who is absolutely fabulous. While I was visiting her last year, we took a trip up to Medford, Oregon. We walked through the mall there, and I had my first encounter with StarBucks. I didn't know anything about it, so my daughter ordered for me, something she liked that had whipped cream on it and was cold. Cold coffee, I can't stand it when my own coffee goes cold and here I was paying for cold coffee. Well I tried to be polite as we were walking around, trying to sip on it and not make a face, she seemed to love hers. While mine was not only cold, it was bitter, and the whipped cream didn't take the awful chalky taste away. I managed to throw it away, almost full. Well, I didn't learn my lesson the first time, and like a nincompoop, I ended up gracing Starbucks' door once more, this time with my better half. He loves the place, I still can's see the attraction for it. Well, the place seems to have a menu with many items on it, so I ordered something hot this time, can't even remember what it was. What I do remember is, that was the worst cup of coffee that had ever passed my lips. The coffee was bitter, once again, I guess it doesn't have to be cold to be bitter. There went another cup of coffee, and $5 down the drain. Since that time, I had tried the over-priced, over-rated store a couple more times, with my beloved, and at that point I simply told him, "I could order something different everytime trying to find the one item on their menu that I could tolerate giving them my money, or I can just simply say, I hate everything on their menu and keep my money." So for months, I managed to stay away from the evil place, keeping my money in my pockets for something better, like a Johnny Depp movie. Then came the morning when we were traveling to Palo Alto for a church service. We had left the house a little early, so we stopped for coffee, and you guessed it, we stopped at Starbucks. Well by now you would have thought I would have learned my lesson, but OH NO, not me. This time I figured I would order something totally new. We both ordered the same thing, a chai tea with soy milk. You couldn't possibly mess up tea. Plus we ordered food, I got a blueberry muffin, he got a low-fat blueberry muffin. We sit down and I take the first sip, it was bad. I take a small piece off the muffin and it managed to assault my taste buds, I washed it down quickly with a taste of the awful tea and there I sat in misery. My beloved is reading his paper and eating his muffin and drinking his tea and seemed at peace. I watched him a couple times then reached over and grabbed his tea to taste it, HIS tea was good which totally blew me away, because we ordered the same thing! His muffin tasted like a blueberry muffin! That's when I figured out Starbucks hated me as much as I hated them. Allan took a sip of my tea, made a face and stated, "That's terrible!" Well I could have told him that, he couldn't even eat my muffin, it was that bad. My morning started off crappy, thank goodness the rest of the day got so much better. After my many adventures to Starbucks I had decided I hate the place, they charge way too much for coffee, cold or hot, their food stinks, and the atmosphere inside sucks. Makes you wonder just why they charge that price for their bitter coffee, have you heard about that expensive coffee lately found in poop? Maybe that is where they get their beans. Well anyways, I had one more adventure into the coffeeshop of hell. Never let your better half drive, you never know when he is going to get a hankering for coffee. I had decided I was going to stay in the car while he filled his body with the poisionious liquid, but I just couldn't do it. I ended up ordering a hot chocolate, just how do you mess up chocolate??? We get our drinks and sit down, the place has several couples filling the tables and everyone seems to be having a good time. Now my cup has a label around it, "Warning liquid is HOT", I take off the top, stick my finger into the whipped cream to stir it around, and as I have my finger sitting in my "Hot" chocolate I look over at Allan. He says, "What?" Well what do you think? Would my finger be sitting in the chocolate if it was, "HOT"! It was luke-warm at best, then I did the unthinkable and took a drink. Chalky, bitter, the worst chocolate I had ever had. I stated quite loudly, "This is it, this place sucks!" I didn't care who heard me, obviously if people are in there they have no taste anyways. And just to get a confirmation, Allan did taste my hot chocolate, and made a face and put it down. I threw away the worse cup of chocolate I had ever had, and did what I should have done in the first place, sat in the car. Not one person who can say Starbucks is good has ever had a decent cup of coffee. They charge you up the butt for bitter, disgusting, cold, awful, the absolute worse coffee in the world. Starbucks will get no more of my money. What they need to do is take the money I have already given them and take lessons on how to brew a decent cup of coffee. Now it's time for me to pour myself a good cup of coffee, with the right amount of sugar and cream, from my new Bunn and start enjoying my day.